SCENE ONE
Marilyn – Here we are again two years later and yes, we’re all back home from that conference which overnight became our dream. Lord Haversford still remains at home at home within Haversford Castle and he has welcomed our church as honored guests always. I really think this is almost unbelievable.
Peter – Our church treasurer is working closely with our asset management firm which the vestry hired on behalf of the congregation.
Tom – From what I can tell so far...we are owners free and clear of debt of any kind.
Walker – When did this happen?
Bernard – Today at eleven in the morning we signed ownership of Haversford Castle with a walking forest of 273 acres free and clear of any payment whatsoever.
Peter – But it has been over 2 years since we were in agreement to do this.
Tom – Believe me...this kind of thing takes as long as it takes. Huge in debt transference in category and sequence meeting all required tax codes and nuances from local, state and the grandaddy of them all...Uncle Sam.
Tom – We got this 1200-year-old estate for free seems incredible, but it happened.
Peter – What do we do now?
END OF SCENE ONE
SCENE TWO
Peter – Yesterday, I had a dream, and the dream was that I answered my door, must have been around 7:30 after dinner...well, I walked from the kitchen to the door, opened it and said, “Who asked you anyway?” Shut the door and walked away only to realize that it was Pookie and a woman. They were dressed as Lord and Lady Haversford. Now, why in the world would I do something like that? I’m glad it was a dream.
Peter (waits)...Why are you looking at me like that? You don’t
mean...
Bernard – I'm afraid that you might have hurt Pookie’s feelings.
Walker – But you more than redeemed yourself when you turned and ran to the door and you said, “Lord and Lady Haversford, welcome to our home. Please come in.”
Tom – And from there we all did something as I removed their garments to store them in the foyer cabinets.
Peter – Now I remember, I said, “Here, make yourselves comfortable.” And I went on to explain that earlier, a salesman had knocked at my door. Nearly rude in that it was difficult to get rid of him without being harsher than I would like to be.
Peter – Not 2 minutes later, there’s a knock at the door and it is Lord and Lady Haversford.
Walker – Remember, Lord Haversford likes to be called Pookie. On another note, who was Lady Haversford?
Peter – This seems to have been a dream. Lord Haversford married a wealthy heiress of noble heritage as his own and they have decided to share her wealth, thus Lady Haversford.
Marilyn – Good for him!
Peter – And great for us. What are we going to do, move St. Alban’s to Haversford Castle?
Bernard – No, nothing like that. It will be a retreat for our church. Anytime any member wants to visit Haversford Castle, they will make a reservation for arrival and departure. There is no check-in or check out time at Haversford. Never has been for guests of the
manor.
Marilyn – When can we go back to Haversford Castle?
Tom – According to our closing attorney, right now. Ownership begins after recordation, and they recorded it this morning. I have the keys, codes and remotes right here.
Bernard – So Pookie won’t need the castle anymore really.
Peter – Pookie likes all of us. He’s really giving it to our church because well...
Marilyn – Sometimes the best words are no words.
END OF SCENE TWO
SCENE THREE
Bernard – Now that we are back at Haversford, what are we going to do?
Peter – I have an idea if you’d like to hear it.
Tom – You do know that what you say is very much appreciated.
Peter – Why, exactly...?
Marilyn – Because you really think outside the box.
Walker – Sometimes it at first seems crazy however your points do hit a distant target that no one else can hit. Does that explain it?
Peter – Thank you and much appreciated but I already knew that.
Bernard – We knew you did.
Tom – I feel like taking advantage of the walking forest, not too far from the castle kitchen’s chimney, then I will come back.
Walker – Where do we meet for lunch?
Peter – Where do we want to meet for lunch.
Walker – In the galley kitchen. There are two white doors onside the kitchen chimney. It’s really hard to miss.
END OF SCENE THREE
SCENE FOUR
Restaurant owner (could be anyone) - Call me Loomis. (extends hand)
Peter - (shakes) You know, this is the first time I’ve been to your place.
Loomis (the restaurant owner) - Well Peter...what do you think?
Peter – Why all of a sudden do people want to know what I think? What could I possibly know?
Loomis – You'd be surprised if you knew, Peter.
Loomis – You're staying at the castle at the top of the mountain, aren’t you?
Peter – You mean Haversford castle.
Loomis – You know it’s haunted.
Peter – No it’s really not haunted. We’ve been there before and it’s a great place. In fact, today we all agreed to go out on our own and meet up for luncheon at the castle kitchen galley. What time is it now?
Loomis – It's what...can you see the clock on the wall over the register? What, a quarter to ten.
Peter – 9:45 and we meet there at noon, so I have really about an hour and a half to fool around until I have to get back to the castle.
Loomis – You know you sound just like one of the Haversfords when they would come into the village for something in that they always had to get back to the castle for whatever reason. It became the curse of the Haversfords.
Peter – And this haunting thing...what is the origin of that?
Loomis – Legend has it... (gets interrupted by his wife, Dorie)
Dorie (could be anyone) - Legend has it. What is it this time, genius? (Throws a rag at him and starts to walk away)
Peter – What did you do this time, Loomis?
Dorie - (steps in a few steps) Yea, genius, tell him what you did.
Loomis – I cut off the top of a weed in the garden.
Dorie – That weed was a rare old and hearty plant that I nursed from a near seedling, and you go out and butcher it! How dare you!! (Walks away)
Peter – Maybe you should give up gardening...just for a while until things cool down.
Loomis – Sage advice...maybe you should take my place for a couple of days, and I’ll not jump off a cliff just yet.
Peter – Prolong the agony you mean. Your wife doesn’t seem to be a bad person, and she does love you. Why do you continue to mess up?
Loomis – I have made great strides in reducing all of that and I am continuing to do better. (Looks up and out at a distance). You’re back!
Dorie – I never left. You didn’t see me leave, did you?
Peter – Is it this way everywhere or am I just dreaming?
Tom – Peter, my friend, it is indeed this way everywhere and it sure sounds like you had quite a morning...where did you drift off to?
Peter – I knew that we all were scheduled to meet back here at noon for lunch at the galley kitchen with the chimney near the two large white doors where you come in... (gets interrupted)
Bernard – Now Peter, we’re all here now for lunch and it’s what, about 3 minutes past noon...well I’d say that’s near perfect so tell us where you went this morning, it sounds interesting.
Peter – This guy and his wife own the only restaurant and inn at the base of the mountain where we came in. How many dimensions can we have in our lives...sometimes I believe in an infinity of a diameter of a sphere and why not?
Marilyn – You know your problem is you’re brilliant and that has side effects.
Peter – Most times I feel like a side effect.
Walker – Bernard, what did you do? And Marilyn and Tom. I remember that Tom was going to the walking forest.
Tom – Unbelievable.
Bernard – I took to the castle library. You know where it is. When you come in the main entryway you continue straight until you come to a very large room. If you go to the far end of the room, you will see double floor to ceiling solid oak doors. The library is always open but when you are finished, please close the doors.
Marilyn – I spent the morning with Jamison, the Head of Household, and met all the servants and all the gardening staff. Did you know that we have riding stables that are staffed with full-time personnel? Well, I had no idea.
Peter – Well, it is 273 acres but it’s all walkable with nothing but forest.
Tom – I know, there are places where you can go and sit under a tree and it’s like you’re in your own private room but incredibly better.
ALL – and Walker!
Walker – Yes? Oh, I spent the entire time exploring the walking forest like Tom, but I started from the green gardeners' shed outside my bedroom window. The mineral springs are in that direction too by the abbey chapel and garden. It’s wonderful!
Bernard – Back to business. We all came up here again with the purpose of deciding what to do with Haversford Castle.
Peter – How about an event venue?
Walker – How do you mean, Peter?
Tom –Maybe a place where you stay a couple of nights with all meals included and entertainment at night.
Walker – We charge for that, right?
Bernard – Most definitely, however, the charge would be inclusive of everything once you get there.
Marilyn – One price. A nightly charge or is it by the event like 2 nights or more.
Bernard – One night, no minimums, no difference in rates at any time or anything. For example, for one night it might be $250.
Walker – Book my reservation now, I’m coming!
Marilyn – For entertainment, what were we thinking...
Peter – Walker, we’ll begin Part Three of this thing we’re doing now as entertainment when we begin at Haversford.
Walker – Absolutely, we’ll have a packed house because we inherited a huge theatre, stage, curtains, lights and the seating is good for a large audience.
Marilyn – Where did you find it?
Walker – On my walk through the forest I came to a clearing unlike anything that I had ever seen. A cinema style old movie house with stage, well, yes, we will perform Part Three there.
END OF PLAY
Next episode – RETREAT - Part Three
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